What is the definition of Brandon Research?

Brandon research, my friend, is like the scientific equivalent of a gourmet chef experimenting with a new flavor combination in his kitchen. Instead of mixing spices, it involves testing the efficacy of hypothetical compounds and theories, all while keeping a safe distance from actual human subjects. It's the ultimate "I'm not saying it's dangerous, but... let's keep this in the lab, okay?" kind of experiment.

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Edgy example: "Brandon research suggests that sipping on coffee laced with lavender oil will make you suddenly realize you're a total time travel aficionado, but only if you're not wearing a T-shirt saying 'I'm just a coffee aficionado.'"